I dont know. Just read once again the wall of crap article (the article under this one) and nothing changed. it still feels like this. In the end of May i missed the chance to go to berlin to a fuckin awesome electro-party. i forgot to tell those people who invited me, that i’ll come. so i could have gone to that place, but i dont know where to sleep, i just slipped that chance. i was back then really frustrated about this.

and around june… holy motherfuck. this was one of the most frightening moments in the last 5 years… i was kinda bored so i was really interested in doing some RL. but no one answered or was interested in doing something with me. so my rage-gauge was slowly filling…
later i got a chance to diebsteich to a students friend. so while getting to the metro, i just kinda got lost. so my rage-gauge was proceeding to get filled by my anger. i just remembered while getting some information how to get to that house/flat of the friend how fucked my day was.

it was full of just bothering myself about how to have just a nice day. or wondering about some students in my faculty department. so i just remembered in that moment how much fail a single person can contain… so while figuring out which how to get the address to that house and while no one was getting on the telephone, my rage-gauge was already flashing and i was so pissed of that i nearly broke my mobile phone into two pieces.

IT WAS ACTUALLY BENT. LIKE A FUCKING C. display is fucked. i cant use it anymore.

i dont know whats wrong with me.
i blame myself for being such a dick, but on the other hand: people deserve it to be dissed by me. you have to humiliate people, otherwise they wont acknowledge you.
maybe its the same for me. but instead of humiliating me, getting ignored is more humiliating for me.

but then again, what makes people who are around me humiliating me in this way? iam not even sure if its their true intention or if its just lack of interest in me.

and why am i hanging around people who are not really interesting? interesting people wont hang around with me or are not interested in me.

i dont get it. iam trying so hard to find some people where i can always hang around, have fun, are interesting and cool, but in the end, everyone runs off or i remain as the last person in a room. i can organize and invite as much as possible, but the result will be the same: zero.
i can be as interesting and funny as anyone else, in the end, everyone will gather around and will leave me. even those people are not interesting but then get along and find each other attractive or interesting enough, but i remain silently behind, without getting recognized.

is the purpose of my life being forever alone? if yes, why is it this hard? why do i making such a fuss about this?

in july, i tried to ask people out for a drink after all tuition and classes on wednesday. what happened? in the end, everyone went to another person to have dinner. and after that, they went drinking. i wasnt invited. but i asked that person before, if she and her friends are interested.

whats wrong? am i doing something wrong? are the people around me this strange? am i strange?
why dont people tell me about this? am i the most worthless person on this world? even homeless people have more friends/people around them than me. this is just unbelievable…

i dont understand. what is my problem and why am i making it into such a show-off? it consumes me too much. iam not able to concentrate me solely on videogames because of that fact.

the july month is pretty tiring. sure will be pretty expensive, but the games are worth the trouble and the money except Duke Nukem Forever.
Lots of people are hatin this game to ashes. its one of the most disappointing games of the last 5 years. everyone thought too human was ridiculous, but unfortunately the Duke didnt come. even no jizz in his pants.

no we’re in the october month. i was in korea, had a good time there, DIDNT FUCKING MEET YOUNHA OMFG RAGING AND SHOVELING MY HEAD INTO MY ASS.

i settled a little bit down, after the last few months completely blazed my balls. i try to cool off, and play my games. fuck rl, fuck female friends, fuck some ppl who think theyre too elite for me.

i bought some games, brought them over to hamburg and now i have an assload of a so-called backlog wondering how to finish all this shit.
just a picture of it:

So every box is full and iam wondering how to finish all this…
i PRE-ORDERED uncharted 3 and zelda. thats it for this year.
and there are 2 ds games missing for my personal perfect ds collection:
dq6 and okamiden.
if i have them, i have 2 perfect collections. ds and gc.

it took me months to release this blogpost because i ran out of ideas. actually so many things disturb me so that iam not able to post really cool stuff.

-RYTHEM isnt existing anymore
-YOUNHA has no more contract, doesnt sing anymore except some rare live covers on her radioshow
-I DIDNT FUCKING MEET YOUNHA IN KOREA
-i have boring life with no cool ppl around me who know how to put up some grinding shit.

so in fact it was a long time of absence… i hope i will continue this blog…
so many things change, but i wont change.
is this a change? has war changed?
its dangerous to go alone.
——————————————————————————————————————
Ah yeah, here you go with the new Girls Generation/소녀시대 Album: The Boys

I dont like it, but a lot of ppl are going crazy about this one.
mediafire
wupload
megaupload

hows the crack?

pretty bored and i was ill for 3 weeks in march. pretty sick, literally.

so i was unable to do something for university or play gaemz. i realized that i´ll be buried in gaemz. its just too much. i cant play that much and some of them are just too die hard for me. just thinking about these gaemz(DEMONS SOULS as an example) gives me crotch cancer.
and if think back what i bought in the last few weeks:

heavy rain
alan wake
magical quest for snes
3d dot game heroes
nba jam
deathsmiles
deadly premonition
tactics ogre

just to name a few.

oh gawd. holy crap.
and this year there are some games like duke nukem, shadow of the damned or uncharted 3 which could will easily be my games of the year 2011.

so next what is really quite persistent…

well how should i start this…

i once thought, when i get older, a lot of cool things will happen.
i thought, life would be like on the tv, like like in the us, with parties in the neighborhood and everyone is invited and is getting along.
i thought, i would be as cool, as all the grown-ups i once saw somewhere, with all their friends and all their (amorous) adventures.
back then, i told myself, life starts, when i get 10. when i got 10, everything was as lame as it always was.
so i thought, maybe it´ll start when i get 15. since then i just kept telling it to myself all that time. it never got cooler. it never changed. my environment and friends and everything were changing except me. i still playing videogames and everyone else got gurlfriendz and were like getting into drugs or we didnt have anymore anything in common.
one day i thought… something is not right. maybe i should just get to another part of germany.
and i was obsessed with videl/rukia and iam still obsessed with younha. there will never ever be anyone else. i will drop the girl, if ill ever get one, for younha. thats for sure. so stupid— but its part of my stupid will and mentality and i hope i will die for this aspect.

it sucks a lot, how people are this strange… i dont know i cant stand a lot of things anymore. whats the problem? why do i have so many problems to get along with people?
and why am i the only one with only nerdy nerds as friends? its not the fact that they’re just nerds, its the fact that i only have male friends. i wonder why.
it sucks. and quite fucks.

and i dont know how to change this problem. and even worse, i just cant ignore that problem. it devours me consistently. i cant think straight. sometimes i sit just there, and i remember: dude, ur fucked for real. i hate self-pitying. and sometimes i think: there wont be more love than my love for videogames. i just dont get it. its just like… well if you have a quad-core and you can only use 1 core because the other 3 are busy with calculating the crap about social anxiety, friendship and why everything is liek this.

why is everything so complicated? its like… iam trying to get something which is no suited for me. its like a magician tries to be a barbarian.
so how to change?
i dont get it, it sucks completely.
am i such a freak? there are so many more disgusting basement dwelling rip-a-dick fucks, and still i fail more than these deformity sucker.
i hope all of you facepalm yourself while reading this wall of crap.
i am doing this, too while writing this.

Life is like:

And iam like this:

i hope there will be changes in the few next months… or the next year… if not, i need to end this.

this cant go on. i cant accept that. and there are no save files to reload.

infinite loop disappointment.

but i think i deserve it.

for being such a dick. for being with dark colored skin.

for not being mainstream.

for being such a nerd.

get a grip.

cya ass-fucks.

This one, well… 4boxes full of gaemz for the rest of my life-.-

so next one some music:

Distant Worlds

My Review:

Best Album for this year so far. i love these piano and concert music. My favorite song is Vamo’ Alla Flamenco which is from Final Fantasy 9.
Cant believe how awesome this once was. i need to replay this game. a little bit too much of Final Fantasy 7 but still just too good.
back to the OST:

FUCKING DOWNLOAD IT. NAO!
*click*

Next one:

Beatmania IIDX 18th Resort Anthem OST

Yeah, same shit as always. I still dont know why i listen to this but it kinda makes me feel… IIDX.

This time, its a beach-theme so a lot of songs feel more „relaxed“  and not really aggressive like all the other typical IIDX songs.

And guess what: Beatmania finally arrived in the 21st century.

For the first time in the series, it has finally some good electro songs on it. Congratz you stupid ass faces of Konami.

I still prefer the Eurobeat and DJ songs of that album.

One song is dedicated to my friend kevin, who is distorted and has a attention deficit disorder.
He is currently living in singapor and works as a it-technician for a famous german company.
lets listen to this song: which is already named after him:

kevin energy – energy drive

Yeah, what an aweful song. But i think Kevin will like it. It fits his ADD.

So what do i have to report to you guys…?

I dont know. My life isnt that amazing or awesome. Still waiting for a chance to go to korea and G E T younha.

Still cant believe why younha is the only good looking one, if you except rukia from bleach and videl from dragonball, which are not real-.-

Thats it. Over and out.

October: Younha becomes blonde.
Comment: Holy fuck, the biggest shock in my life after knowing that santa claus faps to little kids and i only have 1-UP.
November: THIS IS THE REASON WHY I WAS ABSENT ALL THAT TIME: I spilled tea (with honey) over my laptop. current over 9000. That was it for the internetz.

Second Impact in Nov-Dec.: 3 Gaemz lost.
Comment/Conclusion: my fucking life fucking hates me. And even worse, it was GT5. i was waiting for such a long time, and then… this. what a pratfall.

Third Strike: Rythem getting divorced.
Comment:No, they re not lesbians, but the best J-Pop-Duo EVER. MOTHER CROSSES FUCK.
really really sad moment, when i read it on the internet…

summarization of the year 2010:
dc venice shoes:~35€
Infamous:~20€
FF13:~30€
GT5:~35€
+DEATH of Notebook:over 1000€
———————————-
Explosion of my Head

What the hell is wrong with my environment?
And my TV was broken too in 2010, but fortunately i still got some guarantee left so i got it repaired still in time without paying money for it.
i dont know but for what happened in the last few months here, i H A T E hamburg.
maybe its someones fault for these series of fails…

If there is a real „person“ for this mess, i would beat the crap out of him, make him eat his own shit, let him instant poo it and looping this whole fucking madness for all eternity and still after that, iam not satisfied with it.
———————————————————————————————————————-

Now its 2011, and i got a new laptop, a B560 from Lenovo. and the newest shit about that is, that this laptop freezes every once in a while.
quite sucky.
and now, guess what:

biggest shock in 2011 just 10 days after the year started:
my PLAYSTATION 3 got a RED SCREEN OF DEATH.
unbelievable.

i shed manly tears about that.

just dont want to get deeper into it before i start once again crying about this incident.

well… now its february, and iam finally finished with nearly everything for the 3rd semester.
i kinda have vacation but still have to do a lot for the university.
bought a fuck load of games and i just cant play…
just a pic of all UNPLAYED GAMES FOR MY VIDEOGAMESYSTEMS EXCEPT HANDHELDS:

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

i wonder when ill do all those games and say something like: imma mo’fucking champion, bitches!

you see nothing changes in my life. for like ancient times. no waifu/gurls just videogaemz until crap is sprouting just all over the place.

well, part 2 is coming… until then, enjoi!

I’ll write down my new shit.

It’ll take a while but now you know that iam still alive…

just like this:

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

cya later.

If youre really that impatiant, check out my german blog which features some unusual confrontations in korea.

*click*

and Scott Pilgrim vs. the Word rocked this summer.

i got the game and i will get a blu-ray rip to watch the movie in all its epicness.

for all who are interested, get the comics:
*click*
Mirror:
Part1

Part2

Part3

Part4

Part5

Part6

so, thats it for one day. cya.

Well my koreareport is delayed too. its because of gran turismo 5. actually i pre-ordered it. i thought after the 10th delay this time it will be released for sure, but i forgot about sonys „this is livingwaiting!“ policy.
well now for some distraction, iam releasing some good stuff:
Here you go with a nice load of awesome music:

Younha released her japanese album named Hitotsu Sora no Shita.

Some of the new songs are pretty good, and her lookings are above average but i would not freak out like with her gossip boy or lalala outfit/look.
Dont like most of the old songs(girl).
But still give it a try, its princess younha. There is a Depapepe featuring which is pretty cool.
*click* < her new japanese album

Next her newest single One Shot feat.주석(Juseok)

Please dont ask me, if i still support her.
i H A T E BLONDE.
but hey its younha so i will still obey for the great princess.
*click* < korean single

Next some new K-Pop.
I dont know if you know 나르샤(Narsha) but i actually really like her stuff. she released some stuff in summer and one song actually ripped my balls and made them go all crazy. its the balled song „I’m in Love“. I know, the title sounds cheesy, but its really awesome. Some of the best songs ever.
here is the first minialbum of her:

Most of the Songs are kind of cheesy but „I’m in Love“ is great.
*click* < minialbum
the new single mamma mia is really upbeat and sounds funny too. give it a try.
*click* < her new single mamma mia.

Next is 가인(Gain) with her new single 돌이킬 수 없는(dorikkil su omnun,irreversible)

She is, like Narsha a member of Brown Eyed Girls and FUCK: Jesus came in my face they look neat. not as god-like as younha but still nice. and narsha and gain are real gemstones. i like her shit. sometimes really cheap and trashy but not as hard rock shit as the other stuff in korea.

anyway listen to her new minialbum which is called „step 2/4 (EP)“.
the main song (돌이킬 수 없는) is awesome and has some new style which is refreshing.
*click* < minialbum

next is… well..

BoA.

Fuck. i dont like her. she was the biggest rival back then some years ago in japan for younha. but in korea she is another person. and actually she does some real music which cant be compared to most of the shitty music in korea.

fuck, this one is really so professional. just have to admit. listen and watch her pv/mv.
and download her song
*click*

and yeah… and tomorrow university starts and i havent even thought about learning ANYTHING in the semestervacation. iam really such a stupid dumbfuck.

well then…

cya around

FUCKHEADS.

Until then, dont fap too much, dont worry, be rappy.

cya

MoK

the past days i ranted and bashed a lot about facebook. my so called friends. so accusing all buddies, that their friendslist is full of freeloaders and most of them(about 120%) were guys they met just once and never again and stuff like that.

yesterday i met some old school collegues and they were like ignoring me. because of that fact that i overused facebook for insulting ppl.

insulting ppl is like a new hobby of me T_T

and i think it kinda overkills me.

it really sucks and puts some turd back into my ass.

kinda depressing, but thats how life is. if my life would be as boring as the sims, i would have killed myself long time ago.

even seeing this shit played die hard by some gurls makes me mad.

well, iam getting sidetracked…

so my semestervacation is really boring and sucky because of working, doing shit for the university and planning my journey in korea. i really hope i´ll meet younha…

or some another fateful person.

this post makes no sense.

beware of your child.

jizz in my pants.

edit: SaGa Frontier 2 Piano Pieces (Full title: Piano Pieces “SF2“ Rhapsody on a Theme of SaGa FRONTIER 2) : *click*

something positive on this really assripped apart weekend.

its sunday and iam still pissed about the events that occured in the last few days. how the fuck is this shit possible?

I actually dont know what 無題 means, but i wanted this song so badly and i couldnt get my hands on it until today. dunno why.
there is no single to download, internet sucks as always, and now after finishing all tests at university iam on the countryside again.

and the whole shit starts here: i have a lot of stuff to do. this means no gaming, no hanging around…
well no HQ-hanging around/playing games.

dont want to talk to much, get the single, be happy.

Rythem – 無題 *click*