Short Blog Stories The End of August

Hi there, once again after a drought, i give you another shot of the SBS.

 

I have been doing so much shit in August.

I have been in Munich, Cologne, Düsseldorf, Wuppertal, Berlin within this month. Travelling and meeting a few people and welp just escaping from whatever iam running away from.

I have been thinking about my experiences with people and i have been wondering about how much it makes a difference between every people are from or how they are behaving. Iam still convinced, if the superior white people would just kill off all nuisances, such as criminal people, communist people, people with different or no religion at all, the world would be equal. This is what the people, the majority is trying to dream of. actually because this is a dream which cant get true.

Anyway back to the usual nuisance: Asia.

As a lot of people might know, iam studying East Asian Studies, and iam wondering how much it will affect the future, if China/Korea and such will rise and will get be in charge instead of EU/US.

I have been trying and trying to understand and to befriend myself with these people. unfortunately the majority is simply denying my approach. To this very day, iam not sure if this is simply because if the skin colour or my behaviour or just the nature of asian people.

i read an article a few days ago which also made me think….

-WHY ON EARTH are asian people like this?
-Why are western(other people) pretty much celebrate this (to a certain degree) racism?

http://www.allkpop.com/article/2014/08/sistar-talk-about-dating-prohibition-being-asked-out-by-a-french-man

a korean popstar got asked out by a french person. so far so good or nothing special.
-but the article in the first place is not specifying if the french person spoke english or french(or even korean)
-if this is just some shitty PR-talk
-if she just made it up
-would any of these people(especially korean) ever admit that they met a foreigner? if yes, would it be a bad thing?

this article clearly makes it sound so bad. i know this website is known for yellow-press-articles(haha yellow=people) but i wont lose the feeling that this is fucked up wrong.
even worse is the fact, that people in the comments are totally on the side of the korean star, of course. some of them, havent read the article and just state shit like:
„this show looks really fun~ lol“

it makes me feel so bad, especially because i lost around 5 years with researching and reading and studying about this filthy scoundrels.

is it just me feeling bad, or is it some european behaviour to expect some kind of gratidude from these people?

i have helped out so many people, tried to present and represent them german culture and tried to give them a good time in germany. being interested and showing gratitude shouldnt be much to be expecting from each other. but i have never the feeling to receive anything.
on the other hand, i see too often people, the wrong ones receiving to much gratitude for doing nothing.

do i sound rascist? is it racism to think like that? i never wanted to, and i feel sorry to judge maybe about several countries so bad. but on the other hand, my major experiences just failed in this case.
should i compare it to neonazis and their way?

so, i already overdid it.
here is one last thing which iam listening to since last week.

been listening to it for whatever reason and its catchy and feels pretty much like a rip-off from katy perrys… this pharao-song, dont know the name right know.

see ya

Back Again/ Can a Song save your Life?

so this whole palastine and israel thing is going full retard these days and normally iam not a person interested in this whole politics thing but these days it just went so much overboard, that i have to intervene.

first of all, its the majority of muslims who are on the german streets who are doing this whole anti israel thing. another fact is, that these people are using nazi-slogans. and they are using them so hard, that neonazis in germany are proud of them and walking with them the streets of hate. and now we have another situation like nearly 80 years ago: people on the streets openly accusing jewish people of something they havent done.

is this the reality the german public is facing now? why are muslims doing this? i suppose most of them should be educated enough to know the situation or some parts of the world history, but i suppose, iam wrong. their racial hate is just going way over board. it makes my mind boggle all over the place. it makes me puke and iam ashamed to be called a human and to be asssociated with them.

i got hacked on facebook so i deactivated my account. so while i was a bit shocked while i was away from a computer to thorougly check what was going i took the bite and did it. i have to say maybe for the better because i was wasting a lot of time with facebook. and it makes me a bit unfree to check the newest updates and to get full retard because i wasnt part of the awesome shit people left me out. these days made me think and made me realize how much in this world is totally worthless. if a person really acknowledges you, he will write you or think of you. this is part of the facebook deactivation process.
these days my life feels so complicated and so off. its maybe for the better to have an deactivated profile. i just have to spend some time by myself to actually realize how many trashy people are around me. also the stuff iam trying to achieve feels also so off. its hard these days to think about my stuff i have to finish off or which are really urgent. i would like to travel, but there is no real destination. i also would like to just do the stuff i want to, but there is no chance to actually enter this kind of work/group. actually this feels like an open world game. first of all having no clue what to do and what iam striving for is so confusing. this is also part of the bachelor-experience. lets see what will happen in the future.

i would have never believed if any of those turds told me that studying can change a person this much. some people for the better, some people for the worse. another important part is how people have an idea of what a life of a student is. i had such a nice picture of being a student.
NOTHING EVER OCCURED the way i imagined it.
the shit i imagined about korea NEVER OCCURED.

is my imagination TOO STRONG?
or do i just have high expectations?
is this something i shouldnt have?

if i cant leave a footprint on this stupid planet i will haunt this planet for all eternity and will eliminate all of the humanity and will wish for the extinction of the planet earth.

so lets recommend you shitfaces some inspiring music:
i went some days ago to the movies and got partly blown away by a pretty neat movie.

keira knightely was in this movie too, and usually i dont like her but i got literally blown away by her. i quite liked her expressions and how she played the role in this movie. what a lovely girl she was. she didnt have the looks, but the role, expressions, the character, the songs she sung… everything was just balanced. this kind of character is not existing in the real world.

i know its a fucking movie, but…. shouldnt this be to a certain part based on reality or real characters? the same should apply to anime characters. but tis’ so wrong. or iam just constantly hanging out with the wrong people. i cant change it. there is no chance of changing it. i feel mentally retarded thanks to the asian people iam hanging out with. my own fault.
hanging out with inferior is not making you superior. that wasnt my intention, but a result.
another result is that asian people love to hang out with white caucasian people to feel better and to treat other asians or dark coloured people worse to get off their own inferiority.

anyway, here is the picture of the movieposter as well as the download for the OST. its pretty awesome.

oh and this movie is named „back again“ in the US while the rest of the world has another title for that movie. i dont even why there is a change of the title in the first place.

my favourite songs are those of keira.

*click*

have fun and see ya next time.

Short Blog Stories: August cuckoldin‘

Blog august

The last ranting blog should have been posted nearly two months ago. It also should have been updated but i was to busy lying around drinking somewhere or traveling to some places in germany.

So mid july to august have been some quite extra ordinary months for me. I still do struggle to get over younha. I met some nice people, but i dont want to get to close to them. And i also met some korean summer school students. They seem to be funny and there is one girl out of 50 which is insanely cute and funny. we have been hanging out a few times, and i organized a party just to meet her again. I invited and fucked up our roof just to meet her. It was worth it. So i asked her out to meet her yesterday and we had a nice evening until i confessed her that i really like her and i want to hang out more with her. Silence and welp parried my confession….
Of course what was i thinking about confession n shit. So once again still feeling miserable and her answer just makes me cringe again. Why are korean people like this.
Her answer was: our cultures are too different.
Shocked and in awe.
What is it about me that i never met persons interested in my while its always me showing interest in others. Is this some form of postcolonialism?
Once again i made myself worse than i am. Its so sad to see how people with more skills or with more efforts are simply failing. I still wonder why humanity has so many problems. There would be an easy way to solve so many problems… But i have the feeling that certain people, races, and whatever you want to call them are simply exist to show the white race how superior they are. To feel better than the others. To have someone to show off their belongings. To place themselves above someone else. Basically you have this everywhere but compared on another scale, this is basically why the human race still lets african, north korean and whatever people vegetate in this world. I feel so bad to write this stuff. It makes me hateful to realize and to be part of this hateful world.

If this would be a game, i would simply just switch off or delete this save file.
Everything feels really wrong.

Even though that that girl just parried my confession i still like her really a lot. She is not that one person, who has awesome talent in singing, or playing an instrument or anything else. She is just nice, thats why i do like her so much. There isnt even a real reason.
On the other hand never has been said something like that about me. Wont be said. Never.

These days feel so awfully long and iam tired and pissed of easily. I deactivated facebook just in case because i dont feel well.

I have been these days in slice of life and coming of age talk, so i have the feeling, that i will never fully life the life i want to.
Exploring stars, having someone awesome next to my side, dreaming the life i am already living. Contributin something to this planet or this generation. This would be peace.

Instead i have to handle porn, war, economy, religion and holy chocobo knows who.
All these things disgust me to the last bone of my bawdi.

This relentless life is playing quake on nightmare.

15.8.2014

Rant about a blog which shouldnt one.

blog

wow, i was about to rant the same shit as always when i reread my last blogpost. quite impressive stuff written by me (even with a lot of misspellings n stuff) nevertheless i totally forgot what i wanted to write, or for a better understanding i remembered what i have to change in my life to get back to my senses.
nice one.

still, there are points to call out:

the world cup nationalism lead to more racism. i thought, wow, soccer stands for tolerance and „say no to racism“ but the human being never cease to amaze me. i still meet people who find it ok, to say:
-all black people look suspicious
-people with darker skin have more diseases
-criminal/illegal…

so i went to würzburg and a random black family got called out of the train and got into some struggle with the police. i posted it on facebook and was shocked how people, who are so called friends of mine reacted to that pic.

why do i have so many fuckturds next to me? is it because of korean studies? its also sad to see, that people, who studied that, wont admit a bad thing in or about korea. they also spend their whole money only for and in korea. sad. i cant talk to them in a neutral way.

iam trying to explain the situation: a person told me he was at the best beach ever. so i asked where it was. he told me, it was in korea. basically thats like, ok, so i asked him where he was and which other beaches he has been to already.

so he told me, he was in germany…. and yeah thats it. and some beaches in korea.
i was baffled. in awe. mindblown.
and then i told him, he should maybe go to some real beaches like in spain, france or even better somewhere like thailand or somewhere in southamerica.
and he told me, no they are too crowded and they wont look better, cleaner than in korea and oh yeah, he forgot, the water quality is the best.

i was even more shocked. i rarely saw a good beach in korea and if i saw a nice one, it was cramped, full of dirt or even worse the water was pretty much a spreadshithole. i even went to a beach with dead animals lying there.

when telling these experience he called me a liar, and that iam just hating about korea because !“behold“! iam dark coloured person and therefore i dont know how to acknowledge that beautiful country. oh yeah and just because of the fact that i experienced discrimination, iam not able and fully aware of what beautiful country korea is.

oh man.

what is wrong with my environment? is it me? am i meeting just fateful wrong people?

is it because iam dark coloured?
is it because i studied korean studies?
what is wrong with all these people reacting so wrong in front of me?

i dont feel good these days. it feels like i pretty much have to do so many things, and if things go wrong its my fault. no one would dare or come up with the idea of inviting me or asking me out for certain things. instead its more or less, that i have to call up everyone for every and anything.

i dont have any ambititions anymore. only thing i pry for is war. it doesnt matter what iam interested in. in every case its the wrong shit. iam always doing it wronger than it already is.

i think, society will only change after war.

if so many people are disturbed by jewish people, muslim people, black people, people who are eating wrong things, people who are gay….

why is not the majority simply killing off everyone who isnt fitting in this society? it would solve every problem and everyone is satisfied.

best idea ever.

no more poor people, no more shitty annoying people, no more harrassing, crime or whatever.

only white, straight people. we would solve so many problems at once.

so what is the humanity waiting for?
i dont get it. and i wont see the future, where a new society form or a new form of living style will exist.

pretty much pissed about everyone and everything.

especially people asking me unneccessary things. they think every person is gifted or is able to use that skill or ability. its not like that and will never be like that.

iam feeling so ambitious about certain things, but not about my own life. iam not sure why. maybe its because i met some persons the last few weeks which made me realize how far behind i live compared to these persons.

as an example: my cousin, she is one year older than me and is a nice person, and always a pretty busy hard studying person. so a few years we werent exchanging much of contact and then, i met her some weeks ago and shit got fucked up.
she married a few weeks ago and boy has she changed. it literally caught me off guard. i was so shocked by the fact how far she has come in her life.

she has a good job, finished her master degree, has been studying at three different universities and made a fuck ton of caring friends.

what have i reached until now? iam just one year younger than her. nothing. i felt so humilitated. oh gawd. unbelievable.

on the other hand, iam struggling with my small little unimportant goal of not thinking and glorifying younha all over the place.

its pretty much denying my identity. i feel so bad about not talking and not trying not to think about anymore.
but i know if i continue to cling on her, it is just slowing me down in my life and holding me off becoming more mature or more broader when it comes to being open minded.

another point these days which pretty much makes me puke is how far fetched and fucked up news are.

these days i see a lot of news about this whole palastine thing. iam not political, but i wonder why so many people are interested in this whole conflict. and now, especially in germany some of these pro palastine demonstrators are going too far. they are pretty much saying the same stuff as the nazis nearly 80 years ago. this is just the worst. how fucked up are these people? what is wrong in their minds??? dont they know anything about the countrys history? even worse is, if you know people personally who think like that. i feel so ashamed of these people. am i stupid not joining them or why am i the only sane person here?

i dont know it. it makes me sick plus iam wondering how can a normal person read the daily newspaper with all this crap standing in it…

well anyway this is the first year staying the whole summer in hamburg. i have never been during summer in hamburg. always been traveling or somewhere else. wow, it feels… somehow bad and i actually feel weird without a purpose here in hamburg. i should do my work, prepare my thesis and play my games. instead iam just procrastinating and just rub my dick against my laptop.

and of course i bought a shit ton of games
Paper Mario Sticker Star
Luigis Mansion 2
Auto Modellista US Tuned
Fire Emblem: Awakening
Zelda for 3ds
Tomb Raider Collection for 360(i actually dont know why)
Dragons Crown
Mario and Luigi for 3ds
New Super Mario Bros U+New Super Luigi U

actually, i have less and less time to play all these games, due my real life which is consuming so much time and actually iam just lying somewhere around and drink beer or have nonsense talk with people i dont like or who dont like me. its hard to find the right people. this is another problem. i hope which will be solved in the future…?

so… some music:

no new music so iam listening these days only to some old ridge racer stuff. funny and timeless classics. unbelievable good shit. will but some links here but right now, iam unfortunately not able to do that.

cya next time, space cowboys.