Rant about a blog which shouldnt one.

blog

wow, i was about to rant the same shit as always when i reread my last blogpost. quite impressive stuff written by me (even with a lot of misspellings n stuff) nevertheless i totally forgot what i wanted to write, or for a better understanding i remembered what i have to change in my life to get back to my senses.
nice one.

still, there are points to call out:

the world cup nationalism lead to more racism. i thought, wow, soccer stands for tolerance and „say no to racism“ but the human being never cease to amaze me. i still meet people who find it ok, to say:
-all black people look suspicious
-people with darker skin have more diseases
-criminal/illegal…

so i went to würzburg and a random black family got called out of the train and got into some struggle with the police. i posted it on facebook and was shocked how people, who are so called friends of mine reacted to that pic.

why do i have so many fuckturds next to me? is it because of korean studies? its also sad to see, that people, who studied that, wont admit a bad thing in or about korea. they also spend their whole money only for and in korea. sad. i cant talk to them in a neutral way.

iam trying to explain the situation: a person told me he was at the best beach ever. so i asked where it was. he told me, it was in korea. basically thats like, ok, so i asked him where he was and which other beaches he has been to already.

so he told me, he was in germany…. and yeah thats it. and some beaches in korea.
i was baffled. in awe. mindblown.
and then i told him, he should maybe go to some real beaches like in spain, france or even better somewhere like thailand or somewhere in southamerica.
and he told me, no they are too crowded and they wont look better, cleaner than in korea and oh yeah, he forgot, the water quality is the best.

i was even more shocked. i rarely saw a good beach in korea and if i saw a nice one, it was cramped, full of dirt or even worse the water was pretty much a spreadshithole. i even went to a beach with dead animals lying there.

when telling these experience he called me a liar, and that iam just hating about korea because !“behold“! iam dark coloured person and therefore i dont know how to acknowledge that beautiful country. oh yeah and just because of the fact that i experienced discrimination, iam not able and fully aware of what beautiful country korea is.

oh man.

what is wrong with my environment? is it me? am i meeting just fateful wrong people?

is it because iam dark coloured?
is it because i studied korean studies?
what is wrong with all these people reacting so wrong in front of me?

i dont feel good these days. it feels like i pretty much have to do so many things, and if things go wrong its my fault. no one would dare or come up with the idea of inviting me or asking me out for certain things. instead its more or less, that i have to call up everyone for every and anything.

i dont have any ambititions anymore. only thing i pry for is war. it doesnt matter what iam interested in. in every case its the wrong shit. iam always doing it wronger than it already is.

i think, society will only change after war.

if so many people are disturbed by jewish people, muslim people, black people, people who are eating wrong things, people who are gay….

why is not the majority simply killing off everyone who isnt fitting in this society? it would solve every problem and everyone is satisfied.

best idea ever.

no more poor people, no more shitty annoying people, no more harrassing, crime or whatever.

only white, straight people. we would solve so many problems at once.

so what is the humanity waiting for?
i dont get it. and i wont see the future, where a new society form or a new form of living style will exist.

pretty much pissed about everyone and everything.

especially people asking me unneccessary things. they think every person is gifted or is able to use that skill or ability. its not like that and will never be like that.

iam feeling so ambitious about certain things, but not about my own life. iam not sure why. maybe its because i met some persons the last few weeks which made me realize how far behind i live compared to these persons.

as an example: my cousin, she is one year older than me and is a nice person, and always a pretty busy hard studying person. so a few years we werent exchanging much of contact and then, i met her some weeks ago and shit got fucked up.
she married a few weeks ago and boy has she changed. it literally caught me off guard. i was so shocked by the fact how far she has come in her life.

she has a good job, finished her master degree, has been studying at three different universities and made a fuck ton of caring friends.

what have i reached until now? iam just one year younger than her. nothing. i felt so humilitated. oh gawd. unbelievable.

on the other hand, iam struggling with my small little unimportant goal of not thinking and glorifying younha all over the place.

its pretty much denying my identity. i feel so bad about not talking and not trying not to think about anymore.
but i know if i continue to cling on her, it is just slowing me down in my life and holding me off becoming more mature or more broader when it comes to being open minded.

another point these days which pretty much makes me puke is how far fetched and fucked up news are.

these days i see a lot of news about this whole palastine thing. iam not political, but i wonder why so many people are interested in this whole conflict. and now, especially in germany some of these pro palastine demonstrators are going too far. they are pretty much saying the same stuff as the nazis nearly 80 years ago. this is just the worst. how fucked up are these people? what is wrong in their minds??? dont they know anything about the countrys history? even worse is, if you know people personally who think like that. i feel so ashamed of these people. am i stupid not joining them or why am i the only sane person here?

i dont know it. it makes me sick plus iam wondering how can a normal person read the daily newspaper with all this crap standing in it…

well anyway this is the first year staying the whole summer in hamburg. i have never been during summer in hamburg. always been traveling or somewhere else. wow, it feels… somehow bad and i actually feel weird without a purpose here in hamburg. i should do my work, prepare my thesis and play my games. instead iam just procrastinating and just rub my dick against my laptop.

and of course i bought a shit ton of games
Paper Mario Sticker Star
Luigis Mansion 2
Auto Modellista US Tuned
Fire Emblem: Awakening
Zelda for 3ds
Tomb Raider Collection for 360(i actually dont know why)
Dragons Crown
Mario and Luigi for 3ds
New Super Mario Bros U+New Super Luigi U

actually, i have less and less time to play all these games, due my real life which is consuming so much time and actually iam just lying somewhere around and drink beer or have nonsense talk with people i dont like or who dont like me. its hard to find the right people. this is another problem. i hope which will be solved in the future…?

so… some music:

no new music so iam listening these days only to some old ridge racer stuff. funny and timeless classics. unbelievable good shit. will but some links here but right now, iam unfortunately not able to do that.

cya next time, space cowboys.