So, lets see, what should i quarrel about for today…?
I dont know. Just read once again the wall of crap article (the article under this one) and nothing changed. it still feels like this. In the end of May i missed the chance to go to berlin to a fuckin awesome electro-party. i forgot to tell those people who invited me, that i’ll come. so i could have gone to that place, but i dont know where to sleep, i just slipped that chance. i was back then really frustrated about this.
and around june… holy motherfuck. this was one of the most frightening moments in the last 5 years… i was kinda bored so i was really interested in doing some RL. but no one answered or was interested in doing something with me. so my rage-gauge was slowly filling…
later i got a chance to diebsteich to a students friend. so while getting to the metro, i just kinda got lost. so my rage-gauge was proceeding to get filled by my anger. i just remembered while getting some information how to get to that house/flat of the friend how fucked my day was.
it was full of just bothering myself about how to have just a nice day. or wondering about some students in my faculty department. so i just remembered in that moment how much fail a single person can contain… so while figuring out which how to get the address to that house and while no one was getting on the telephone, my rage-gauge was already flashing and i was so pissed of that i nearly broke my mobile phone into two pieces.
IT WAS ACTUALLY BENT. LIKE A FUCKING C. display is fucked. i cant use it anymore.
i dont know whats wrong with me.
i blame myself for being such a dick, but on the other hand: people deserve it to be dissed by me. you have to humiliate people, otherwise they wont acknowledge you.
maybe its the same for me. but instead of humiliating me, getting ignored is more humiliating for me.
but then again, what makes people who are around me humiliating me in this way? iam not even sure if its their true intention or if its just lack of interest in me.
and why am i hanging around people who are not really interesting? interesting people wont hang around with me or are not interested in me.
i dont get it. iam trying so hard to find some people where i can always hang around, have fun, are interesting and cool, but in the end, everyone runs off or i remain as the last person in a room. i can organize and invite as much as possible, but the result will be the same: zero.
i can be as interesting and funny as anyone else, in the end, everyone will gather around and will leave me. even those people are not interesting but then get along and find each other attractive or interesting enough, but i remain silently behind, without getting recognized.
is the purpose of my life being forever alone? if yes, why is it this hard? why do i making such a fuss about this?
in july, i tried to ask people out for a drink after all tuition and classes on wednesday. what happened? in the end, everyone went to another person to have dinner. and after that, they went drinking. i wasnt invited. but i asked that person before, if she and her friends are interested.
whats wrong? am i doing something wrong? are the people around me this strange? am i strange?
why dont people tell me about this? am i the most worthless person on this world? even homeless people have more friends/people around them than me. this is just unbelievable…
i dont understand. what is my problem and why am i making it into such a show-off? it consumes me too much. iam not able to concentrate me solely on videogames because of that fact.
the july month is pretty tiring. sure will be pretty expensive, but the games are worth the trouble and the money except Duke Nukem Forever.
Lots of people are hatin this game to ashes. its one of the most disappointing games of the last 5 years. everyone thought too human was ridiculous, but unfortunately the Duke didnt come. even no jizz in his pants.
no we’re in the october month. i was in korea, had a good time there, DIDNT FUCKING MEET YOUNHA OMFG RAGING AND SHOVELING MY HEAD INTO MY ASS.
i settled a little bit down, after the last few months completely blazed my balls. i try to cool off, and play my games. fuck rl, fuck female friends, fuck some ppl who think theyre too elite for me.
i bought some games, brought them over to hamburg and now i have an assload of a so-called backlog wondering how to finish all this shit.
just a picture of it:
So every box is full and iam wondering how to finish all this…
i PRE-ORDERED uncharted 3 and zelda. thats it for this year.
and there are 2 ds games missing for my personal perfect ds collection:
dq6 and okamiden.
if i have them, i have 2 perfect collections. ds and gc.
it took me months to release this blogpost because i ran out of ideas. actually so many things disturb me so that iam not able to post really cool stuff.
-RYTHEM isnt existing anymore
-YOUNHA has no more contract, doesnt sing anymore except some rare live covers on her radioshow
-I DIDNT FUCKING MEET YOUNHA IN KOREA
-i have boring life with no cool ppl around me who know how to put up some grinding shit.
so in fact it was a long time of absence… i hope i will continue this blog…
so many things change, but i wont change.
is this a change? has war changed?
its dangerous to go alone.
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Ah yeah, here you go with the new Girls Generation/소녀시대 Album: The Boys
I dont like it, but a lot of ppl are going crazy about this one.
mediafire
wupload
megaupload
Der Verwahrloste höchstpersönlich!!!!111einself 